The Author in His Dojo

Men like Bill Cavalier are not born. They are formed by the ghastly energies unleashed when an unwitting teenage boy reads the entire first edition Deities & Demigods out loud backwards on a dare by his cajoling, caffeine-addled friends in the midst of a hot summer night in 1981.

Despite the ensuing fire and legal troubles, Bill Cavalier spent the next 30 years mastering the realm of role-playing games.  He conquered the Temple of Elemental Evil, traveled to the Land Beyond the Magic Mirror, and was one of the first people to ever lie about surviving the Tomb of Horrors on his first pass.

Bill currently possesses twenty-nine of the Teeth of Dahlver-Nar.

In 2011, Bill made the decision to give back to the hobby that has given him so much. Thus dungeonbastard.com was created to help gamers achieve their character’s maximum potential. Through his exclusive one-on-one training Bill Cavalier empowers you with the strength, dexterity, intelligence, constitution, and charisma it takes to play the game that has stymied so many teenage boys with a moderate interest in sports and the outdoors.

What about wisdom, you ask? That…

That cannot be taught, it can only come from within.

If you know a gamer who needs help — or maybe you are a gamer who needs help — contact Bill today.

BILL CAVALIER, ADVENTURE COACH. Not just making you a better roleplayer, making you a better PERSON.


Savvy internet searchers will note that there is, in fact, another Bill Cavalier on the internet. He bears no relation, but he is a pretty kick-ass DM, talented artist, and (reputedly) one mean harmonica player.

2 Responses to About

  1. Cyrus Kirby says:


    Thou will only incur the wrath and unwelcomed smiting of the DUNGEON BASTARD if thou persists with such poor English, half-witted, nonsensical blathering commentary!

    Does thou not knowith that once the DUNGEON BASTARD hath fixed the WORLD (event currently scheduled at 3 PM on Wednesday, after a late lunch – come early to ensure you get a good spot to see it – parking might be a problem), He will turn His vengeful eye upon thee?

    Poor misguided souls! Thy misdeeds will be visited TENFOLD upon thy brow and backside!

    His cause is just! His actions righteous! Such a MAN merits respect and fear!

    Mostly fear.

    OK, just fear.

    But fear is a form of respect (sort of)! So, there you go.

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