Category Archives: The Bastard Answers!

DMing is a thankless job where you pit your wits against the collective wiles of 4-6 of your most reckless, impatient friends. Still, SOMEONE’S gotta do it. Learn how to Dungeon MASTER like the Dungeon BASTARD.

The Dungeon Master’s Guide has some great rules for attracting followers and building a castle. Unfortunately, it has no advice on how to DEFEND that castle from the inevitable onslaught of your DM’s jealousy-filled rage. Well the Dungeon Bastard is … Continue reading →

Sometimes people want help with a situation that seems impossible. You know what’s impossible? STUMPING THE BASTARD!

If you want to me to proofread your attempt to min-max a monk, you better be wearing padded undies.

D&D is a game of problem-solving. Sometimes the problem is, you don’t have any rope. Sometimes the answer to that problem is not what you think it is.

The Chainmail Bikini. It’s a source of never-ending controversy. Or is it? THE BASTARD ISSUES A JUDGEMENT.

This week in Ask The Bastard, we tackle that age-old question: What is the best axe?

One of the sad truths about this game is that you HAVE to have a DM in order to play. Maybe one day they’ll come up with a way to bash monsters and loot treasure that does NOT involve being … Continue reading →

Playing a cleric is a difficult task. You have a lot of responsibilities to juggle, like staying true to your alignment, serving the needs of your deity, and bashing grimlocks in the head with your mace. How do you balance … Continue reading →