Category Archives: The Bastard Answers!

LISTEN UP, GAMERS. I’m the Dungeon BASTARD. It’s my sworn duty to protect players from the vile injustice unfairly inflicted on them by the sad, demented whims of the frustrated fan-fic novelists we call “Dungeon Masters.” (If they were really … Continue reading →

GAMERS, sometimes you need to switch things up. I get it. You can only kill so many goblins. (PRO TIP: Then you move on to HOBGOBLINS.) But in your search for a change of pace, you might hear the Call … Continue reading →

Every once in a while you have three friends who want to play, and then another buddy, and then a guy and his wife, and the next thing you know you’re pulling the sofa up to the dining room table … Continue reading →

Gamers, I think I’ve made it abundantly clear exactly what I think the best race is but I know some of you out there can’t help but fiddle with things and therefore you’ll want to try playing a MONSTER as a … Continue reading →

Gamers, you may be a tactical genius, a suave and debonair role-player, and a master of puzzle-solving logic. But all of that doesn’t add up to the beads of sweat on a 16-HD Earth Elemental’s brow if you can’t roll … Continue reading →

The Bard. Almost universally loathed, he’s like the guy in the bridal party who insists you all go sing karaoke for the bachelor party and then while you’re busy destroying each other at indoor paintball breaks into a really bad … Continue reading →

Sometimes your party gets in over its head. What do you do? YOU TURN TO THE BASTARD! I’m a professional, people. Stand back. This is what I do.  

They’re not big, they’re not scary, and they’re not part of a rational universe. (And I’m talking about a “rational” universe that includes some crazy priest dude who decided to turn his teeth into an artifact.) Flumphs. It’s like someone … Continue reading →

Why do owlbears get so much love? FIND OUT: And, as an ADDED BONUS click here to download the Official OWLBEAR Ringtone MP3!

Some people try to live their lives by the Shatnerian tenets of “Ham It Up” and “When In Doubt, Throw A Styrofoam Boulder.” Me, I try to live my life by the Bastardian tenets of “Boulder It Up” and “When … Continue reading →