Category Archives: The Bastard Answers!

Ask the Bastard – XP

GAMERS, do you EARN experience points or does your RAT BASTARD DM just IGNORE your GLORIOUS EFFORTS and arbitrarily AWARD you levels at his stingy, piteous whim?? Check out this LATEST installment of ASK THE BASTARD as I go DEEP … Continue reading

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Ask the Bastard – PRESTIGE CLASSES

Some people see the core rules as SACRED and don’t bother with all the friddle-fraddle of those convoluted Prestige Classes. OTHER people see Prestige Classes as the ideal way to refine and fulfill their vision of a truly unique and … Continue reading

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Dear Dungeon Bas– er, MASTER

LISTEN UP, GAMERS. I’m the Dungeon BASTARD. It’s my sworn duty to protect players from the vile injustice unfairly inflicted on them by the sad, demented whims of the frustrated fan-fic novelists we call “Dungeon Masters.” (If they were really … Continue reading

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The Call of Cthulhu

GAMERS, sometimes you need to switch things up. I get it. You can only kill so many goblins. (PRO TIP: Then you move on to HOBGOBLINS.) But in your search for a change of pace, you might hear the Call … Continue reading

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Eliminate the Weak

Every once in a while you have three friends who want to play, and then another buddy, and then a guy and his wife, and the next thing you know you’re pulling the sofa up to the dining room table … Continue reading

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The Best Playable Monster

Gamers, I think I’ve made it abundantly clear exactly what I think¬†the best race is but I know some of you out there can’t help but fiddle with things and therefore you’ll want to try playing a MONSTER as a … Continue reading

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Dice: Your Worst Friend or Best Enemy?

Gamers, you may be a tactical genius, a suave and debonair role-player, and a master of puzzle-solving logic. But all of that doesn’t add up to the beads of sweat on a 16-HD Earth Elemental’s brow if you can’t roll … Continue reading

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Stupid Bard

The Bard. Almost universally loathed, he’s like the guy in the bridal party who insists you all go sing karaoke for the bachelor party and then while you’re busy destroying each other at indoor paintball breaks into a really bad … Continue reading

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Dealing With Drow

Sometimes your party gets in over its head. What do you do? YOU TURN TO THE BASTARD! I’m a professional, people. Stand back. This is what I do.  

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Flumphs

They’re not big, they’re not scary, and they’re not part of a rational universe. (And I’m talking about a “rational” universe that includes some crazy priest dude who decided to turn his teeth into an artifact.) Flumphs. It’s like someone … Continue reading

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