Category Archives: Guide to Racial Profiling

The Dungeon Bastard’s Guide to Racial Profiling — Dwarves

As my good friend Alegaard Mountainstance once told me, “There no problem ya kanna solve with a lotta ale or a liddle whack a’ the axe.” I told him, “Quit with the phony accent and LET’S GET TO KILLING TROLLS.” … Continue reading

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The Dungeon Bastard’s Guide to Racial Profiling — Humans

Humans. The race everyone can relate to, right? THAT’S THE PROBLEM.

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The Dungeon Bastard’s Guide to Racial Profiling — Half-Orcs

A lot of DMs won’t let you play a half-orc because it’s “not compatible with the story strictures of the campaign world.” You know what we call those DMs? COWARDS.

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The Dungeon Bastard’s Guide to Racial Profiling — Half-Elves

If you want definitive proof that playing a half-elf is ridiculous, consider the fact that I had to demonstrate the point using sock puppets. That’s right, SOCK PUPPETS.

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The Dungeon Bastard’s Guide to Racial Profiling — GNOMES

What do I think about picking gnomes for your character’s race? WHAT do I THINK?

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The Dungeon Bastard’s Guide to Racial Profiling — ELVES

Look, you’re not a role-playing genius. I can only think of one role-playing GENIUS and he’s busy typing this post. So obviously you need help picking a race for your character. The good news is, if you’ve narrowed it down … Continue reading

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The Dungeon Bastard’s Guide to Racial Profiling – HALFLINGS

Creating a PC is a difficult process — kind of like making fondue. You don’t want to burn the cheese, and if you’re not careful, you’ll knock that can of Sterno all over the table and honestly: no one wants … Continue reading

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